Shutting down

I am fighting it, but I feel myself slowly shutting down. Whenever get a great motivation in me to kick ass and change my life and make it better one more shitty thing happens. I feel like this whole world is going to shit and everyone I know is going though all kinds of stuff as well. I am not one to to the poor me thing in general but at this point in time I almost could. I just wish things would get better for everyone. Normally it is a March case, in my life I have noticed March is never good and others feel the same but April is almost over and things still suck. I have never been one to give up at stop giving a shit all together... I take few days off do whatever I have to do at the time to deal... my down times are getting longer and loner and I fell the need more and more often just to go to my shitty job apply for here and there then go home and sit on my sofa do whatever and repeat. When things get this this I have always had Justin to pick me up but life has not been fun for him as well, so I try my best to make things better for him when I am home.... it is just what I do. I got my check card back today, so that is good, too bad I only have $30 bucks in my account and my next check all goes to rent.... I get paid the next time on the ninth and that asshole took the money I had set aside for my car tabs so here's to hoping I make some money in tips this wee because I work 12-11 today and tomorrow, 12-5 Friday and 12-11 on Sat. All that time to sit in a box, hit ignore on the 17 or so collection calls I get a day and watch for my stolen shit on ebay and craigslist. But my mother says I have lots of sand in my Bo Bo but I fell like it has one awful leak and needs some filling these days. ( Pic on top is of a bo bo, the child hood toy that has sand in the bottom that you hit and it bounces back up)